To Extend Our Reach
by Charles RocketBoy
Summary: AU. Team Rocket never met Ash and as a result they successfully raided Viridian Pokemon Centre, swiftly becoming one of the organisation's rising stars. Of course, the higher you climb, the more dangerous it's going to be if - when - you fall...
1. The Lean, Mean, Dream Team Supreme

1.

"A wanted poster. How… flattering."

"Flattering?! That picture makes me look _terrible_!"

"Then you should be glad the photographer captured the real you."

"Exactly."

"We'll show those bumpkins."

"The people of Viridian City will be sorry they ever saw this face."

Meowth, the try-hard machismo making him cry inside, muttered "We're _all _sorry ta see _your_ face… We're here to capture rare and unusual Pokemon, don't forget that."

Jessie sighed. "We know!"

"And just remember who the top cat is, me-owth!"

"If you make that pun one more time, I'm putting in an official request to join another team," said James. "Preferably one in Siberia."

"Fascinating though this conversation is, and by that I mean not at all you boring losers," said Jessie, "the longer we wait the more likely it is the police will work out we're using the balloon. Let's hit the Pokemon Centre and be done with it."

This was what the trio had been building up for. The few grab-and-run jobs they'd done over the past two days were alright as a warm-up, but after their record in training they had a rep to live up to. They'd been in on a few good jobs before now – moderate-scale abductions of wild Pokemon, the cleaning out of a Pokemon pet store – but they needed more, hungered for it. They were young, keen and desperate to keep making their mark, and nobody on their level had ever hit a Pokemon Centre before. Even if they failed, their reps would be assured.

They'd planned it out in detail – get in from the roof, take out the power, grab as many of the stored Pokemon as possible, escape back to the balloon. They knew what to do, how to do it, and how long it would take. It was simple.

And yet something nagged at James.

"That officer down there was heading for the Centre," he pointed out. "She might still be there when we-"

"Eh, da Jennies are about as useful as a Snorlax guarding a pie factory. Who cares?"

"Well, this one may be a Snorlax on a… er… OK, trying to continue the simile was a futile effort but my point still stands-"

"Oh for-" Jessie fought the urge to use violence and reached for her pockets. "We'll toss a coin, heads we go in anyway, tails we leave off until tomorrow. Happy?"

"Like that proverbial Snorlax in the pie factory!"

"Stealin' someone's similes is fightin' talk, Jimmy."

"James, Meowth: shut up or I'll kill you. It's not like the entire direction of our lives is going to be altered, either to success or to endless failures week after week, just because of this coin toss now is it?"

The coin came down tails. The trio came back the day after Ash and Pikachu had left.

They'd never know how lucky they'd been.

* * *

Pokemon Technical, two months later. The greatest and best school in Kanto, attended by the elite. Despite this, it had been an hour now and still nobody in the school canteen had noticed one of the two new schoolgirls was a guy in drag.

"I think my butt is being checked out," said James.

"Well, that was something I never wanted to know, thanks for that." Jessie checked her watch. "Almost time. Done your bit?"

"Planted over there," he said, pointing to a non-descript bag hidden under one of the canteen tables. "All up to Meowth now."

Meowth, for his sins, was clambering through the air vents and wondering just when Jessie had taken control of the trio. Clutched in his paws was a sack containing small explosive devices, which were to be placed at strategic places in the vents for maximum impact. Already Jessie and James had planted their share, but of course _those_ bastards didn't have to clamber around in this Hell for claustrophobics.

Back out of the vents, Jessie checked her watch again. "Fifteen seconds."

The two of them reached into their school backpacks and removed & donned their gas masks. The other students had just a few seconds to notice this before the Sleep Powder bombs detonated, blanketing half the building and knocking out everyone between the canteen and the Pokemon storage room.

"James, there's one thing that's bothering me," said Jessie as the two of them waded through the sleeping students. "Why did you pre-own a schoolgirl's uniform?"

"I think it's best for both our sakes you don't know."

As planned, they reached the storage room, removed their gas masks and headed in to rendezvous with Meowth and grab as many Pokeballs as possible before anyone arrived to stop them.

What they found was Meowth lying unconscious on the ground. The room had been occupied, and now Giselle stood defiantly next to a Cubone.

"Oh fiddlesticks," said James.

"I don't know who you losers think you are but you're going to regret attacking this school!" snarled Giselle, nodding to Cubone to attack. "Cubone! Bone-"

"Myself, I choose you!" roared Jessie. "Use your Explosive-Grenade-Of-Death attack!"

Both Pokemon and schoolgirl dived to the floor as the offending weapon came hurtling at them, and they had just enough time to realise that the grenade was actually a Pokeball before Ekans emerged from it. Cubone was immediately pinned down in a Wrap attack. Giselle stood up and started to give battle tactics, but Jessie punched her out.

"I love that trick."

Koffing joined in the fracas, merrily launching a repeated Tackle into the immobilised Cubone's face. It was the standard Rocket tactic: gang up on the enemy Pokemon, make them unable to fight back, and steal everything you can when they're down. They had it honed to a fine art.

Giselle got back up and tried to reach the nearest Pokeball; moving fast, Ekans hurled Cubone across the room and into the girl's face.

James winced. "Do you think our level of violence is unnecessarily high, Jess?"

"We're more violent than a pissed-off Primeape on PCP, this is true, but I don't hear Giselle there complaining!"

"She's unconscious."

"Still not complaining though."

Their backpacks full, Jessie and James retrieved their Pokemon, picked Meowth off the floor and made a break for it out the window. They could've easily chosen another route but that just lacked_ style_. It also, as it turned out, led them right into the middle of several advanced students who had been outside the Sleep Powder radius. Very big students who were carrying Pokemon.

Jessie and James came to a stop, sized up the aggressive students, and smiled to each other.

"And here was me thinking we wouldn't get a chance to do the motto," said James.

* * *

They were in Vermillion City by nightfall and made it to the local Team Rocket base to hand in the haul.

"The language of some of those students was atrocious!" exclaimed James. "The standards for creative swearing have dropped since our day at the Tech."

"I don't see what they were so angry about, we hadn't stolen _their_ Pokemon. Well, not until we had Koffing sludge them into submission and then grabbed them, but that's their own fault."

Meowth just grunted. It had been embarrassing, Giselle getting the drop on him – and insult to injury, Jessie had used him as a bludgeon against the other students.

This was their fifteenth successful mission over the past two months, and it seemed like nothing could stop them. Already, several of their missions were passing into Rocket legend – the Viridian City Pokemon Centre raid, stealing a gigantic Moon Stone from the mountains – and there were rumours of promotion to Class A status. Everything they'd dreamt of during training, everything they'd fought for all their lives, it was all in their grasp.

Nothing could stop them.

* * *

The Boss himself was on the line.

The assignment was for the St Anne.


	2. Battle Aboard the St Anne!

2.

"Don't I make, like, the cooooolest girl?"

Jessie's hammer descended like the wrath of gods. "Stop acting like an ignoramus!"

The mission was going well so far. Every ticket for the Pokemon Cruise had been handed out, Rocket grunts had taken up position as crew members and "trainers", and the Snagem devices had arrived on time. Even better, the advance on their salary had shown up.

Meowth was waiting for them back at field HQ. "We got a call from da Boss," he said, patching the call through.

There was a bit of faffing around by Meowth over the Boss's Persian, and then things were down to business.

"All two hundred tickets have been handed out and no-one suspects anything yet," said Jessie. "All grunt agents know the plan and are fully armed."

"Excellent. Remember – this is a highly vital mission for Team Rocket's future success. We stand to capture up to one thousand and two hundred Pokemon, securing in one night what would normally take years of work. A lot of time and money is being expended on this mission."

"We understand failure is not an option, sir."

"You had better. I could have placed a more senior team in charge; I'm taking a chance by giving you this opportunity. Succeed and your status as future Elites is assured. Fail and…" He grinned, or at least showed his teeth. "The St Anne departs soon. Over and out."

"Aye-aye sir!"

Meowth stared with a mix of adoration and lust as the vid-screen winked out. "Dat's the Boss for ya, a real genius…"

"He's chosen us over the Elites," said James, a dopey grin on his face. "That makes us even Eliter!"

"He's chosen to give us a massive bonus!" cried an ectastic Jessie, focusing on the important thing.

"You think we can pull this off?"

"Of course we can. We've not failed yet, have we? We're only dealing with a twitter of twerps here, we'll have half their Pokeballs before they even realise they can fight back. We can't lose this one."

* * *

An hour later, James had lost something – half his salary advance.

"You idiot! Can't you see you were tricked?!"

"What a dope!"

"But y-you don't understand," protested James, secretly realising his team-mates were right and yet trying to pretend otherwise for as long as possible, "this Magikarp is a Pokemon gold mine! Even its Pokeball is solid gold!"

Meowth scratched the gold paint off.

"Arrrrrrrg!"

Jessie sighed. "All right. Leave this to me…"

* * *

Jeff Archer was having a good day – already three people had fallen for his Magikarp scam and fake Mexican accent, and if things kept up he'd soon have enough money to achieve his dream of buying some knock-off Badges and using it to falsely lord over people. Things rocked.

Things got even better when that red-haired businesswoman with the big tits showed up, saying she'd been watching his operation and would be interested in buying him out for a large sum of money. Would he be interested in going somewhere private to discuss matters?

Things took a sharp turn up Shit Creek when they reached somewhere private and she beat the living snot out of him before taking all his money.

"I think that concludes our transaction." Jessie made to leave, then changed her mind, grabbed Jeff's head and yelled "Magikarp! Splash attack!" while banging his head repeatedly on the ground in a splashy movement. "OK, now we're done." She paused again and stomped on his groin. "Now we're really done..."

* * *

Five minutes left now.

Jessie gave a slight nod to two of the other "waiters", and they began to saunter off to another position. If you'd been watching from a birds eye view, you might have seen two dozen or so people all moving casually to new positions at the edges of the hall. They formed a circle around the rest of the trainers and were close to the exit.

One of them was standing near the light switch, constantly checking his watch. When the time was right, the hall would be plunged into darkness and when the lights came back on there'd be Rockets everywhere. Shock and awe tactics, keep the trainers off-balance.

Three minutes left now.

Two.

One.

Now.

"Team Rocket will now take possession of your Pokemon!"

On Jessie's command, every Snagem device was activated and scores of Pokeballs were sucked through the air. Rockets moved through the crowd to reach those Pokeballs out of range.

Jessie smirked. "What a perfectly productive plan!"

"Peerlessly performed!" agreed James.

They were ten seconds into the plan when it all went wrong.

There was a distant cry of "Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" and then a Rocket grunt went flying across the room. Suddenly the spell was broken and everyone realised that they could fight back. It was a scattered counter-attack, and half the Pokeballs thrown only ended up in the Snagems.

Then the trainers got organised.

Jessie just barely noticed the Pikachus forming a pyramid and tackled James to the floor. The mother of all Thunder attacks tore over their heads, decimating half the grunts and blasting a hole in the wall.

"Oh crap it! The trainers weren't supposed to fight back yet! They-" She broke off as a mass of Charmanders flattened more Rockets. This was bad, she couldn't afford to lose control, she had to _focus_. "Everyone! Use your own Pokemon _and try not to get outflanked!_"

Ekans and Koffing tore out of their Pokeballs, joined by a reluctant Meowth and a few scattered Grimers, but they were outnumbered and the Rockets were breaking apart. Meowth lasted two seconds before being sent hurtling across the room, his Snagem pack broken and bleeding Pokeballs everywhere. Under Jessie's snarled direction, the Grimers and Koffing launched a barrage of Sludge attacks as suppressing fire but this only lasted until a combined Pigeotto Whirlwind blew them into the wall.

This wasn't going to work. She was thinking like a trainer and not like a Rocket. A good Rocket, a badass career-climbing Rocket. Focus.

"James, assume command for a minute! Ekans, cover me!"

"Jessie, you can't be-" He broke off to dive for cover from a Thunderbolt. "You can't be serious! I- JESSIE!"

She was already running. Ekans paused in its Acid attacks and looked to him, grinning worriedly.

"Kansss."

"Language!" James turned to the battered Rockets, who were beginning to steadily fall back (or be thrown back) towards his position. Quite a few of the Snagems had been destroyed already. "Someone please tell me they have Pokemon other than the Grimers."

"Yeah, we just happened to bring a load of Gyarados with us but we're not using them to be sporting – NO! We haven't got any others! That's why we're being- being gnawed to death by Raticates like Joe over there!"

James paused and thought what Jessie would do. Then he punched the grunt.

"I am your most maleficiant and magnificent of mission leaders, oh Dan'in Boy, so unless you want the pipes to be calling for you then you show some respect!" James roared, smacking the man across the face for good measure. "Now then! All Rockets – DUCK!"

They just managed to avoid a Vine Whip attack in time, but the follow-up vines were another matter. James saw a female Rocket smacked in the jaw; she span through the air like a demented acrobat before crashing down on her side, her jaw dislocated and bleeding.

The remaining Rockets were coming to join them and they were all possessing wounds and bruises and tattered clothing, and only a few Snagems between them. Ekans and Koffing gathered together to defend the humans, despite knowing they were completely outgunned; Meowth just hid behind James's leg.

The Pikachu's were gathering again and he couldn't think of anything to do.

"R-Rockets-"

"**Down." **

From behind the ducked Rockets, Jessie emerged with a smoking bazooka and a terrible rage. The Pikachu pyramid collapsed as two loud blasts struck its bottom and centre. Those who weren't thrown backwards just fell to the ground and didn't move at all.

"I brought this with me as insurance, as usual. Stun rounds, designed for taking down and knocking out tricky Pokemon without killing-" She fired again, striking a formation of Butterfree and ripping the left wing of the lead. "But like all non-lethal ordinance it has a wonderful potentiality for doing some serious damage if the user isn't careful _and I don't feel like being fucking careful!_"

A fourth round knocked out a Machoke, and the assembled trainers and Pokemon took a step back, waiting for her next move. She glanced briefly to the side, checking all her team were present.

"Koffing, permanently pleased poisonous puffball! Smokescreen!" As the hall began to fill with smoke, she turned to the Rockets. "We're leaving now! Head for rendezvous and don't stop!"

The pleased Rockets retreated out of the hall, taking whatever intact Snagems remained with them. James recalled Koffing and the trio broke into a run.

It was quite a good exit gambit, but they had reckoned without two factors. The St Anne, throughout this entire battle, was sailing through stormy seas. The vicious Pokemon battle, with multiple combined attacks and sundry, had caused structural damage to the boat and distracted the legitimate crew. The boat was going to start shaking dangerously with every wave.

And that first wave hit as they retreated, knocking them to the ground and back towards the trainers.

The bazooka rolled out of Jessie's reach.

* * *

The Rocket sub had been patiently shadowing the St Anne for a while now. Once the team had looted their fill, they were to head for the deck and be evacuated. The sub crew were using Abra's to teleport the grunts down, reasoning it'd be safer in the storm; despite that, a Rocket was washed off the deck by a wave and didn't surface.

The sub captain was horrified at the state of the team. Every member was mangled, some lapsing into unconsciousness and needing to be carried, and there were several severe injuries. All this would matter less if half the Snagems weren't missing, and it was obvious that those that remained weren't full to capacity.

"This is it?"

One of the grunts glared back, wiping blood from a broken nose. "We were lucky to get this much," he muttered. "Without Jessie and James we'd have nothing."

The captain pursed her lips. "And they're still back on the boat, I see."

A quick scan through the periscope showed the St Anne had started sinking and all hands had evacuated to the lifeboats. If Jessie, James and Meowth were there as well, they'd be under citizen arrest and awaiting pick-up by the authorities. If they were still on the boat, they'd be dead soon.

Team Rocket protocol was quite clear.

"Return to Vermillion. They're on their own for now."


	3. Jailhouse Wreck

3.

"You have the right to remain silent, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. Under the Protection of Society Act, you have no right to legal defence and advice beyond lawyers decided for you by the state. You are under arrest for grievous assault, possession of unlicensed weaponry, Team Rocket membership, attempted theft of Pokemon and conspiracy to commit theft of Pokemon."

Welcome to Porta Vista.

* * *

This was bad, yes, but it could be sorted. They'd been in bad scrapes with the law before, they could handle this one.

That was when the officers took Meowth away.

Jessie managed to grab the officer responsible and smash her knee into his teeth, and it took four others to restrain her. It didn't help Meowth. He was placed in a Pokeball, screaming as he went, and taken away along with Ekans and Koffing. They didn't know where the Pokemon would be taken.

And then they were thrown in the cell.

"The boss will get us out," said James. "We're top agents, he'll post bail. We'll be fine."

Jessie said nothing.

"This is nothing, it's just a small room with bars on, we're not even getting interrogated – lots of Rockets have been through worse, we'll be out of here before you know-"

"Shut up."

"Jess-"

"Shut _up_. You don't know that he'll do that. Don't get your hopes up."

At that exact moment, the local Jenny took them out of their cell to meet the Boss.

There was a cover story, blah blah high-ranking Gym Leader, wants to personally interrogate them, probably slipped a bribe yadda yadda, but Jessie and James paid little attention. What was important was the Boss was right here, and he was here for them.

Giovanni paced around the interview room. "The St Anne was owned by me. Officer Jenny believes I am interrogating you personally to find out if any of my employees are, ahem, Rockets in disguise. You will not contradict this when I am gone.

"Now then. Your mission has not gone quite the way it was planned."

Jessie stepped in fast. "The trainers got over their initial shock quicker than we planned and began a coordinated counter-attack. Our team lacked the necessary Pokemon to-"

"The plan was to gain up to one thousand and two hundred Pokemon. You achieved one-twelfth of that. _One-twelfth_."

"Sir-"

"Half of the Rocket grunts were in some way injured, and we lost most of our Snagem devices. If that was not enough, you sunk the goddamn St Anne. Do you fools have any comprehension of how much this sets me back? It is the flagship of the entire company, it is one of the biggest legitimate earners Team Rocket has – and while insurance will allow me to build a new one, I will lose two years worth of potential revenue. And rival companies will take advantage of this, ensuring I am never able to reclaim that revenue when the ship is rebuilt! The loss of the ship is purely because of the damage it received from the Pokemon battle, a battle that occurred because you botched the mission, and all I have to show for it is a poxy hundred Pokemon _and half of them are mediocre cannon fodder!_"

Jessie looked away. Embarrassment, that most loathed of feelings, crept over her, hot and bitter. She did not deserve this. She was better than this, how dare he talk to her like that-

"With respect sir," said James, unexpectedly speaking up, "it is not our fault the trainers fought back. The strategy was handed to us, we did not draft it ourselves; and if it wasn't for Jessie, then there wouldn't be any Pokemon captured. We came close to stealing nothing."

The Boss's lip curled back to show his teeth.

"You _dare _pin this blame on my plan?"

"S-Sir-"

"Enough! Your failure has cost us dear, at this point in time I cannot afford to meet your bail costs. You will have to wait. Your confiscated Pokeballs will, of course, fall off the back of a lorry – it is not in Team Rocket's best interests to leave its Pokemon in the law's hands, even if that Pokemon is Meowth."

James looked him in the eye. "And us?"

"I'll consider posting bail. You may have to wait – I, of course, have far less cash than I expected now."

Giovanni left and all hope left.

* * *

"He'll post it."

"I know," said Jessie, her voice leaden and dull. "He's going to leave us here for a few days and then let us go just to be petty. Because he can."

"But he'll post it, so everything's gravy! Granted, we have no meat, peas, or mashed potato to go with it-"

"He made me feel like… like I was worthless. A failure. _A nothing_." She refused to look up. "I couldn't look him in the eye. He… I swore, _I swore _years ago that I would become someone and that nobody would ever crap on me again and then he- One mistake and I'm thrown back into the trash like everything I've done never happened. Everything I did in Team Rocket becomes meaningless."

James' cheerful tone dropped suddenly, as if it never had been there. "I know. I just thought I'd try and-"

"I don't want to be cheered up, alright?"

"I know how you feel, Jess. People have tried to push me down as well, and I swore I would make it on my own, and I thought I had done so until now."

"Whoop de doo. What can we do about it?"

The two of them fell silent and just stared at the walls. There was nothing else to do.

* * *

"It's midday, I'm Isobel Sinclair and you're listening to Vista 100 FM. News has reached us that local entrepreneur Nastina has put out a reward for anyone who can exterminate the large number of Tentacool around Porta Vista. Attacks by Tentacool on shipping began two weeks ago and in recent days have increased exponentially, with loss of life to be expected if they continue…"


	4. Terror of the Tentacool

4.

The attack started without warning.

First came the distant sound of an explosion, from the direction of the harbour. Then another. And then another, and another, until there was a grand orchestra of detonations. Storm warnings from the distance and police sirens from _everywhere_ soon joined the chorus, with the loudest coming from the very station Jessie and James were in.

"Reminds me of Chopper's last birthday party," said James, trying (and failing) to seem unconcerned. "All we need is screamo music, or rather we don't need it at all."

The steady roar of a helicopter filled the air and then faded out – the police were taking to the air. Above, the sounds of other choppers were providing a steady beat. In the distance, explosions began to reduce and were replaced with the discordant sound of massed Pokemon attacks.

"The police are presently preoccupied, and the presence of a guard for us prisoners is lacking." Jessie thought this through. "If… _whatever_ is going on is so bad that we're being left unguarded…"

"Then we're sunk?"

"Then we've got a chance to escape."

"Well, I'm afraid stone walls do a prison make, as do iron bars a cage."

"Pick the lock? We still have the cutlery from lunch, they haven't had the chance to take it yet…"

James picked up the rusted, shoddy fork and gave it a good hard stare. It wouldn't be hard to bend one of the teeth, but picking a jail lock with that? This was hardly Black Arachnid equipment. Then again, with enough time and a lowest-bidder lock…

"May the forks be with us!"

* * *

It took ten minutes. Within those ten minutes, all the sounds had died down – all except the ones from the harbour. (Whoever was doing the bombing kept finding new things to explode) New sounds had replaced them, the sound of people and traffic that was being pushed back into the area. All sounds that would have distracted James, if not for Jessie yelling at him for taking so long. _That _was a distraction.

With a glorious 'click', the lock popped and the cell door swung open.

James bowed. "Tada!"

And then they had a few seconds of the storm sirens going off citywide before the whole building shook and water tore in to hit them.

* * *

They did not, could not, know about the Tentacool attacks on shipping. They hadn't known of the open season declared on the species. And they certainly hadn't known that, just as lunchtime had started, the Tentacool had stormed Porta Vista's harbour en masse.

They couldn't have known that the half hour of sound and fury was an attempt to stop the Tentacool from utterly destroying the harbour and everything else along the coastline. They hadn't known that the police were making a final effort to stop the attack by using "stun" poisons.

And the police couldn't have known that this would've turned the lead Tentacool into an obscene giant of a Tentacruel, which would have immediately caused a tidal wave to swamp the city.

If that evolution had happened further out to sea, then there could have been fair warning. As it was, the immediate death toll was in the thousands.

* * *

Pure instinct. It had to be. Between the walls buckling and her head sticking out of the water, everything was a blur. Even now, her head rang and she was unsure where – when, why – she was.

Glance to the left. There was the police office in the near distance, a large chunk of wall shorn off and the bottom floor underwater – she'd been swept out as the wall went. (She? Surely there was someone else, where was)

"James?! JAMES!"

Behind her, a feeble splashing – she turned round to see James, bruised and staring and a soaking mess, paddling slowly toward her.

"You don't want to know the state of your hair," he said, his voice a stunned, dull monotone.

Jessie pulled him into a fierce hug, and after a few seconds he found the strength to return it.

A few seconds of peace before their minds began to take stock of where they were. Of the flooded ruins. Of the screams and cries. Of the occasional floating corpse. Over the roars and the crashing coming towards them.

Then looked at the source of the commotion and wished they hadn't. That Tentacruel, tearing down whatever buildings remained standing, should not have existed. Even as they became dimly aware of the Tentacool, improbable lasers shooting out of their heads, their eyes and minds strayed back to the leviathan.

And eventually, they worked out:

"I think it's coming this way, James."

"That is an excellent summary of the facts, Jessie."

"Can you swim?"

"Let's find out."

* * *

For once, God smiled on them: after swimming down the remains of a street, their limbs screaming in pain and their minds screaming that it wasn't fast enough, they came across a motorboat full of guns and bazookas and ammo, with only an extremely ugly woman in the seat.

And after Team Rocket pulled themselves out of the water and into the boat, no old woman.

"Don't worry, you get used to the cold and I hear swimming is good for your thighs!" yelled Jessie at the spluttering hag, while kicking the motorboat into high gear. "This'll be a story for your grandchildren, you got robbed by the lovely, charming villains of Team Rocket!"

There was a brief, nerve-wracking moment as the boat had to speed towards the Tentacool so they could turn – lasers shot past them as a warning, but as they completed their turn and headed away, the Pokemon stopped firing.

"So as long as we're staying out of their way and don't seem a threat, we live," noted James. "Cowardice wins as always!"

"This wondrous world of weaponry and we can't wield any of it? Woe is we two!" said Jessie, allowing herself some cockiness now they were clearly safe.

"I've just thought of something: wouldn't there be a Pokemon Centre on higher ground? In case of floods? That'd be somewhere we can flee _to_, just in case you had no idea where we were going and of course you didn't."

"Point. Any port in Porta Vista!"

The motorboat sped on, both Rockets trying to ignore the continuing destruction behind them.

* * *

The Pokemon Centre was in chaos: emergency power, no police for crowd control, barely any communication infrastructure still functioning, and a thousand terrified people who had found safety but didn't know how long it would last. Team Rocket were able to slip in easily and pickpocket a working mobile phone.

The boss was out when they called, but a female admin worker – the voice sounded familiar; Wendy, was it? – was at the other end. Her first words were a stunned _"You two are _alive_?"_

"We're stubborn like that," replied Jessie. "Regardless: we need immediate evac."

"We have an evac team in the area already, but… well, there were nine other Rockets on business or vacation in Porta Vista at the time, and you're the only ones to have called in. We have to assume the rest are deceased or incapacitated."

"Where's the boss?"

"Flew out immediately…"

Jessie and James' hearts soared.

"…to secure our Pokemon Land theme park."

And then they fell again.

"Stay where you are, the chopper will meet you. And… while I'm here, are you ever going to pay me back for that smoothie?"

"Who are you?" Jessie suddenly realised this was a bad thing to say to the person who ran the evac team. "Because I want to make sure I pay back the right person! In fact, I'm going to steal some smoothies immediately after this call!"

"Smooth," punned James, continuing to eavesdrop.

Once the call had finished and an exchange of names had been made, it suddenly occurred to Jessie: "While we're stealing smoothies, shouldn't we steal some Pokemon too? We've got a boatload of guns outside, nobody could stop us! That's why God invented guns!"

James looked like he'd sucked on a lemon. "Now?"

"No time like the now!"

"Right, but…" He gestured at the walls, as if the outside could be seen through them. "_Now?_ When there's… People are dead. People they might know."

She felt sick. She was a villain, a good one, the best of the baddest. She liked her job and didn't care about the people she stole from, and yet – _and yet_. She didn't know what came after "and yet", but there was something. Whatever it was, it said that stealing Pokemon now would be wrong. The wrong kind of wrong.

"If we see someone being a total jerk to a Pokemon, we can steal from them!" James gave a brief, overly large smile. "Only police, juries, and judges would disagree with that!"

"The chances of that are lower than a really low thing."

* * *

Damian had not been having a good day. He was trapped, he was angry, he wanted to go back to the mainland, he wanted to win some matches for once – why weren't his Pokemon doing better?! Did he need to dump some more like he did that Charmander?

Luckily, his Tangella was out – a swift kick to it made him feel better. Stupid thing.

To his side, he heard a man say "look, a really low thing!".

* * *

The helicopter was too large for two people, clearly meant for the other nine that wouldn't be coming. The paramedic onboard couldn't help but wince at the sight of Jessie and James.

"Don't worry soldiers, you'll be back at a base before you know it. You'll have a good story to impress the rookies with, eh?"

Jessie looked out the helicopter's window. In the distance, the Tentacruel still rampaged. "What about him?"

"The Maritime Defence Force has mobilised. Nobody knows why this attack happened, the monster might intend to attack other cities."

"Fun, fun, fun."

"Oh, is there anywhere to put these?" James held out a snapped belt with six Pokeballs attached to it. "Carrying them is a bore."

"Those are _stolen_?"

"That's kind of our job."

"You want through all _that_ and you still thought of – you still managed to-" The paramedic broke off, looking stunned. "God. You're like no other Rockets I've ever seen. The _dedication_…"

"Well. That's why we warn people 'surrender now'."

The helicopter sped away from the carnage.


	5. Heroes of the Zeroes!

5.

The city of Porta Vista ceased to exist. With the Maritime Defence Force on high alert, all shipping around the area was cancelled: all the tourists and trainers that had been in Vista were stuck on the far side of the island. Due to the state of emergency, Team Rocket went 'quiet', intending to avoid attention.

As a result, among many other things, Ash Ketchum – with his team of Pikachu, Pidgeotto, Butterfree and Krabby – had his journey to Saffron City delayed.

* * *

They'd been lucky to survive without any injuries, but Jessie and James were still confined to the Saffron base for recuperation. Meowth, Ekans and Koffing were waiting them – all of the cat's bravado and front was gone, as he ran to them a blubbering mess.

"When I heard about – I thought – awww, _guys_!"

"Come on, Meowth, people are going to talk," said Jessie, trying to fight her own tears back. "We're bad guys! We don't cry, and that goes for you too James, I can see y-y- _and I've just got something caught in my eyes I swear._"

No one was fooled.

* * *

Jessie tossed the two drink cans with a practised aim, and Wendy eagerly snatched them from mid-air. "There you go, with interest."

"I was this close to thinking you'd never pay me back!" The administrator tore the first can open and began guzzling.

"I didn't think you worked here."

"I –slrp– don't. I'm Central HQ."

Jessie frowned. "You… took the day off work to travel across half of Kanto to get a smoothie I owed you."

"Yes," said Wendy, utterly serious.

"I see." She scratched herself absently, trying to think of a line of conservation with the obsessed girl. "Do you… well, there's something we've noticed from everyone else at the base. Every time they see us…"

* * *

…they were whispering again. Grunts, field agents, the admin, the medics, James was even sure the janitor had done it one time… every time they walked past, the hushed whispers and the afeared glances started up.

"I'm not wearing Jessie's uniform by mistake again, am I?"

"Thankfully not," muttered Meowth. "Dat was a horrific view, dat was…"

One group of grunts started to edge slowly towards the two. Finally one, a brawny looking one with far too much bravado on his face, strode up to James and Meowth.

"Hey! Tough guy!"

James turned and looked behind him before realising who the grunt meant.

"I challenge you to a duel – right here, right now! We'll see how tough you are!"

"Ah." James pondered how to answer this – they _were_ in the men's room, after all. "I'm not entirely sure this is an appropriate venue."

"Right here, right now!" spat the grunt, clearly realising he'd overdone it but with too much at stake to back down.

"Well, if you want your hopes and dreams to be flushed –" He threw his Pokeball into the air. "Koffing, go!"

* * *

"It's getting very annoying," said Jessie. "While my beauty and style are enough to cause a riot in a Sunday school, it does start to grate a bit when _everyone_ is overawed by my presence... Oh. _That_ was something I never thought I'd say."

"You don't –glp! - know what it's about?" Wendy raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"We just covered this in the last paragraph."

Wendy gestured towards her with the remaining drinks can. "You're three of Team Rocket's golden boys, you already had a good rep. Then came the St Anne – the boss isn't going to tell you this, he wants you ashamed, right? But it's gotten out that the meagre gains that were made on that ship are entirely down to you, that it could have gone worse. And you didn't just get arrested, you got arrested covering a retreat. There were, what, forty grunts on that mission? Most of them sing your praises.

"And then. And then… then you survive Porta Vista. You're the only Rockets that do, and not only that…" She grinned. "You thought to steal Pokemon on the way out. Just getting out alive would make you legends, but _that_? The rep you've got, I'm surprised you aren't being constantly challenged by people who want to get their own rep by beating you…"

* * *

"Totodile, Bite attack!"

"Koffing, bust a move!"

Koffing spun away in a fabulous twirl, leaving the Totodile to fly past it and chomp down on a sink. Without even any prompting, Koffing followed this up with a Tackle, smashing its opponent further into the faucet.

"That's my Koffing!" beamed James.

"KOFFING!"

The gents was filling up now: Rockets were sneaking in to watch this fight, and those already occupied had opened the stall doors to watch. The unfortunate grunt looked on the verge of tears.

"Totodile you idiot, get loose and Water Gun it!"

James smiled. He'd just thought of something really good…

"Koffing, give it a chance."

The puffball happily floated back, allowing the croc the chance to fall out of the sink's wreckage. Totodile shook its head, turned round, bared its teeth in preparation for its attack…

"Sludge attack!"

"KOFF!"

A barrage of Sludge into an open mouth would've dropped almost anything, never mind a young Totodile. Koffing looked down at the beaten Pokemon with… well, happiness, basically.

The toilets broke out into cheers, and James happily took a bow, milking the crowd.

"Oh, don't, you're too kind…"

The grunt suddenly leapt towards him, fist outstretched for a punch – and was tagged in mid-charge by Meowth's flying dropkick. All credit to the grunt, he was strong enough to remain upright after that, but was too unsteady to stop James grabbing him – "Now that's not nice" – and forcibly shoving him face first into the nearest toilet.

"You need to relax – take a lie down, maybe a shower," said James as he flushed the toilet. "You'll feel better in the morning!"

He nodded at Meowth. "Fancy footwork!"

"Eh, someone's gotta keep an eye on youse drama queens."

* * *

The trio had two more challenges after that, and sent them both packing. The fame, now they knew it was fame, was a rush: they began performing customised versions of the motto every time they went to the canteen, just for the reaction of the crowd. This was the sort of thing they'd dreamed of in basic training. It was another sign they were on the up.

There was just one problem.

They'd also dreamed of Giovanni being enamoured with them.

Meowth, of course, hadn't been left in Porta Vista and didn't know – because they didn't dare tell him – that Giovanni had spoke of him with contempt. He still spoke of how proud the boss must be with them. He even had a bizarre fantasy that maybe the boss would send all three of them after the giant Tentacruel, a fantasy where the boss' uses for the Tentacruel were ever changing and always bizarre. (Using its tentacles as a skipping rope was the weirdest one so far)

Jessie and James had been left. They remembered the humiliation. And worse, they knew they'd come close to death because their boss wanted to punish them. Punish them for salvaging a doomed mission that he'd planned.

This didn't fit the fantasy. Not one bit.

And soon, Giovanni had an assignment for them again. Once again, it was important enough that he was giving it to them personally via live transmission. (He even had the Persian missing this time, leaving Meowth in heaven)

"This is going to be a… difficult assignment. You'll be assigned extra Pokemon to assist you. The risks are high, and your bonus will be appropriate for that risk."

_That_ got Jessie and James enthused again.

"Your target is the Saffron City Gym. I assume you're aware of Sabrina?"

"Powerful psychic," said Jessie, feeling a bit uneasy.

"Yes. Psychic and a trainer of psychics. Highly powerful. What's less well known is that she's unbalanced. Repression and loneliness have left her with a split personality, which is able to manifest itself due to her psychic power."

Jessie felt quite uneasy now.

"The Pokemon League has been debating for a while about what to do. But she's progressed to abducting trainers and turning them into playthings – her father, the previous Gym Leader, had been hoping a trainer would come along who would be strong enough to challenge her before we reached this point, but that's out the window. Now, the Secret Operation League are preparing to… 'remove' her from her position before word gets out.

"Before that happens, you three are going to steal as many of the Gym's Psychic Pokemon as you can."

Jessie felt extremely uneasy now. "And, erm… if Sabrina manages to catch us…? Any chance of rescue?"

"Don't be stupid."

And Meowth's smile began to fade.


	6. Psychic Fright Flick!

6.

On their way out of the base, a shy grunt handed over two Pokeballs for the mission. Shrugging their shoulders, Jessie and James opened the Pokeballs up – and were greeted with screaming, fanged maws and bleeding eyes staring into their souls.

They were on the floor screaming before they realised it was just a Gastly and a Haunter pulling faces. Both Pokemon were now laughing their butts off, as was Meowth (hey, they hadn't scared _him_).

"A reprehensible rabble of ruffians!" snarled James.

"Dey'll fit right in!" said Meowth, high-fiving Haunter – which took advantage of this and shoved a cream pie in his face. "I've changed my mind."

"A gaggle of gruesome ghosts? Makes tactical sense," said Jessie, "Ghost attacks are strong against Psychics. Now if only we can stand them until the mission is over…"

The ghosts heard her and started to look sad – to the extent that their frowning mouths were drooping outside of their faces. Jessie sighed; this was going to be a long mission.

"Meowth, keep them entertained while James and I handle tactics."

"Okay-do – _what?!_"

* * *

To scope out the Gym, Ekans was sent in – using Dig, it could get in, and with a remote camera attached it could take remote pictures. The downside was it left obvious signs it had been there, but James managed to find a grunt willing to lend them a Diglett. (Ha, willing? Being able to say her Pokemon had helped Jessie, James and Meowth succeed in a mission was something she could never turn down) A few obvious appearances by the Diglett, and the Gym staff would think they had an infestation.

The Meowth balloon was being used as a mobile HQ, slowly orbiting the Gym. In it, the trio ran through the photos of the Gym.

"It's a straight line down from the entrance to the battlefield, with several rooms for the disciples getting their psychic on. Nowhere to hide." Jessie jabbed a finger at two photos in particular. "This room contains Pokeballs, but not that many – we'll assume most of them keep the balls with them."

"Jus' walk in an pretend ta be trainers?"

"I don't think even our disguises will work on psychics," said James.

"True enough, James. But if we sneak in-"

"Yeah, no, psychics."

"Can the Ghost Pokemon do something?"

"Lord, I hope s- oh, you mean… Probably, but what if the psychics notice that they can't notice anything where we are? There's a whole building of them, they're all eager…"

"Dis is startin' to suck like a desperate Golbat."

The problem began to sink in. They couldn't enter the Gym without the targets knowing who they were and what they wanted – and that meant they couldn't do any further recon work and better know who they were up against. Any attempt at being sneaky wouldn't work for the same reason. And without any way of catching the targets by surprise, they'd be trying to steal Pokemon from unknown quantities and if that took too long, Sabrina would come into play.

And they couldn't afford a battle with Sabrina. Ghost Pokemon would theoretically enable them to beat her, but none of them wanted to test the theory.

They remained deep in thought for a minute before James spoke up.

"I've just had a brilliant idea…"

* * *

The Gym's door exploded inwards and Team Rocket ran in, carrying huge boom boxes that blared out music; behind them, Ekans and Koffing (sitting this mission out) worked a dry ice machine and electric lights.

And the instant the first psychic saw them, they cranked the volume further up and began dancing.

"_Pappa parapara paraparapara!_

_Pappa para pappaa!_

_Pappa parapara paraparapara!_

P-R-Q-S-Team Rocket!"

Obviously, this drew a crowd. A very confused crowd, having no idea what was going on and unable to properly think due to the sheer noise.

And _that_ was when Jessie and James released the Ghost Pokemon. A combination of aggressive slapstick and mild Confuse Ray left the psychics on their knees and on the floor, unable to stop the trio from grabbing Pokeballs of them.

One psychic, clad in a surgical mask, had arrived late, and was able to deploy a Drowzee. The Rockets turned towards him as one.

"Drowzee, Confusion!"

"Gastly, Haunter – dodge and in the legs!"

The two ghosts scattered, avoiding the attack, and then fired Night Shade attacks right at the Drowzee's legs. Knocked off the floor, it came crashing down – at which point Meowth vaulted over it and kicked the trainer down. That done, he grabbed the trainer's Pokeball and returned the podgy Psychic type before it could get up.

"Dis mission's a 'ball'!"

"One, two…" James sped up his counting. "Eleven little pilfered Pokeballs, all in a row!"

"That should be enough to keep the boss happy! Now let's scram before-"

And suddenly they couldn't move.

And the "little girl" that represented Sabrina was walking down the corridor towards them.

"Gh-Gh- Gastly…" Jessie fought the urge to scream as her legs refused to run, her hands refused to cover her eyes. "Nightshade attack! NIGHTSHADE IT!"

The Ghost Pokemon, for once, looked worried. And that second of hesitation was enough – the air blurred for a second and they were both on the floor with confused eyes, and Jessie remembered too late that they were half-Poison and therefore vulnerable to psychic attack…

"You've been very _bad_!" said the thing before them. "But if you play with me, I'll forgive you. It'll be fun!"

The shadows where its eyes should be lit up with a hellish red, and both Jessie and James vanished. The girl vanished with them, and Meowth suddenly found he could move again – too late to do anything to save his friends, too late to have run, too late for anything except to realise Sabrina, for all her power, had overlooked him as merely a Pokemon.

Only a Pokemon. Just like at Porta Vista. Just like anywhere outside of Team Rocket. A nothing. A freak. Someone to ignore, or shudder at. Not a person, never a person.

Only a Pokemon.

And overlooked.

Meowth began to growl, and his furious eyes looked over the recovering Ghosts.

"Well, _dat's_ da last mistake she'll _ever_ get to make!"


	7. A Ghost of a Chance?

7.

At first, they'd thought Sabrina had sent them far away from the Gym. It was only when they discovered the plastic nature of the town, and the dolls that were as big as they were, that Jessie and James began to suspect the truth.

And when the sky itself was torn away and revealed to be a shell, when the giggling little girl and the emotionless Gym Leader behind it loomed down open the little doll village, when the sheer power of Sabrina and the utter hopelessness of the situation was revealed in one terrible gesture, they could only say one thing as they clutched each other in fear.

"It's a small world after all!!"

* * *

It was all down to Meowth now. And, he knew, that wasn't enough. He needed the Ghost Pokemon on their feet and backing him up.

"Get up, youse bums! We got ourselves someone ta beat down!"

Gastly and Haunter, shaking off the effects of the Confusion attack, did not seem full of joy at the prospect.

"Well, yeah, but, no, see, Whatsername makes me wet myself and that's no longer scientifically _possible_, man," said Haunter.

"Yeah, she'll be all-" Gastly extended his mouth to ludicrous proportions – "RAAAAARRRR, and we'll be all like-" He mimed dying.

"Take dis seriously," snapped Meowth. "Jessie and James need us."

"Ehhh, well, we only just met them and…"

The cat turned to them, his eyes burning. "Go ahead. Finish dat sentence."

Gastly looked to Haunter for help, and found none. "Er… Never mind, shutting up."

"Just keep Sabrina distracted." Meowth slipped out his claws. "I'll handle da rest."

* * *

There was nowhere to run but still they tried, even as the ground shook from the effortless steps of the monster behind them. And just when they thought they were gaining, they were forced to slow by unclean powers as the titan laughed.

They'd thought Porta Vista had been their lowest, most hopeless hour. They'd been wrong.

And there was no escape. Not now, not ever.

* * *

The Gym's arena was not hard to find, and a quick glance showed Sabrina was there, crouched over a collection of doll's houses. She seemed distracted, this gave them a chance – she could be forced to release Jessie and James if they hit her fast enough, and after that…

"Okay guys… hit it!"

At that, the two ghosts zoomed into the room, materialised top hats and canes, and began dancing. And singing badly. Sure enough, Sabrina became distracted by this.

And with that achieved, Meowth screamed forward with his claws ready to strike and made it halfway before he was hurled into the wall by her power.

"That was unwise," she said, her voice dull and leaden from her real form.

"L-Let them g-"

Meowth was flung into the wall again.

Gastly and Haunter, worried, sprung into action the only way they knew how…

They shoved cream pies into Sabrina's face.

And the attack paused.

"What's the follow-up?" asked Haunter.

"Dunno, dude, I thought you had an idea."

"Hmmm." Haunter thought this through, then walloped himself on the head and pretended to be unconscious.

"You suck, man!"

Sabrina watched this with confusion, unable to understand what was being said, but by the end of the antics she was starting to smile. And that smile turned into a laugh, an uncontrollable one, one that filled the Gym while the "child" Sabrina began to vanish and while Jessie and James found themselves returned to their true size.

"We're back!" cried James. "We're alive! We're-"

Jessie glanced at the laughing Sabrina with sheer hatred. "And _she's_ down."

And in a swift, terrible moment, screaming with rage, she smashed her fist into the psychic's face. The head was driven into the floor with a dull thud, the nose cracked open, the laughter suddenly cut off.

Jessie took in a deep breath, her chest pounding. "All right. All right. Now let's… let's leave."

And as they turned to do so, a bearded man teleported into their way, his expression turning from happiness to shock to anger as he saw Sabrina's body. Team Rocket paused.

"I owe you for saving my daughter, so I won't give you the hiding you deserve for that," he spat. "Consider the debt paid by safe passage. _Teleportation_."

And with that, all of Team Rocket found themselves teleported to the outside of the Gym. The Pokeballs they'd stolen, they realised, remained inside.

"So…" James looked like he was sucking a lemon. "Do we go back in?"

Jessie clenched her fists but said nothing.

"We're not going back in, right? We're leaving in case Sabrina gets up again?"

"We came so close," she whispered. "We need this win. We _earned_ this win. We…"

He put a consoling hand on her shoulder. "I know, Jess."

The team turned away and back towards the base, and bitterness was left in their wake.


	8. The SpyFi Com

8.

Some of the most dangerous people on Earth were gathered in Ohta House, Saffron City. A special meeting of the Joint Intelligence and Security Committee had been requested by the Secret Operation League, and they'd all turned up – some with suspicion. Lord Jarvis, Director of the Pokemon G-Men, kept a neutral expression on his weathered face, but top agent Lance wasn't even trying to disguise his contempt for them.

Lord Imawano, the Joint IS Chair, cleared his throat with his usual barking manner, so even the cheap seats could hear the phlegm.

"This meeting has been requested by the Secret Operation League following the recent incident with Sabrina. This committee recognises Professor P and agent Lucy Fleetfoot."

Lucy cut in before the Professor could speak, almost flinging a set of photos across the meeting room table.

"You're looking at the two Team Rocket agents who raided the Saffron Gym and not only _survived_ Sabrina, but somehow _cured_ her. That's after neutralising an entire Gym full of psychic trainers.

"We want to know who these creeps are."

* * *

Yet again, they came before the Boss. Yet again, he was angry with them. Yet again. _Again._

"…not content with returning without a single stolen Pokemon, you manage to break Sabrina out of her psychosis! If SOL had neutralised her, the Saffron Gym would have been open for a takeover – we lost a chance at a third Gym in Kanto! This is beyond incompetence, this is actively undermining my operations! You three are proving a great disappointment…"

He knew that Meowth had gone after Sabrina to save Jessie and James. This had been the very thing that kicked off his rant – Meowth now knew that the _proper_ action would have been to leave his teammates to their fate and left with the Pokemon they'd managed to steal. That was what his hero and idol wanted from him. This was how low they were.

"…maybe you need to go back to training, see if that bucks your ideas up…"

Over and over, he berated them. And not even face to face – via the vid screen, you can't even see his face or hear his proper voice. They weren't good enough for that.

"…will be the last mission that I give you until you begin to--"

Jessie turned and began to walk away.

"I have not finished speaking, Jessie!"

She stopped, turned, and did not bother to disguise the fury she felt.

"The only time we've failed thus far? When you've given us missions yourself. What nearly got us killed? Those same missions. Maybe you should tell us we can't French-kiss a Muk until we shape up, it's more likely to get a damn result!"

And she continued to walk.

* * *

"I think I recognise them," said Lance. "They were the two Rockets in charge of the St Anne attack."

"Names?"

"Haven't a clue. It wouldn't help, anyway – we wouldn't have any files. We don't keep records of dead Rocket field agents, and since they were incarcerated at Porta Vista…"

"You wouldn't have checked they'd been killed?"

"Twenty thousand people died, and those two were in jail when the Tentacruel hit. We can't exactly check every corpse. I don't know what SOL thinks about its budget, but--"

"Oh screw you, Lance!"

Imawano glanced in Lucy's direction. "Ms Fleetfoot, that's most unprofessional lang--"

"You know the problem with the G-Men's hidden agenda?" Lucy spat, not taking her eyes off Lance. "It's not hidden. You practically wear T-shirts saying 'We want SOL's job too', because _Arceus forbid_ that specialists deal with the villainous teams--"

"Let's get back on topic here," said General Maginty, his voice not raising itself.

Lucy and Lance ceased talking immediately. The Director of Orre Containment and Monitoring – the "Bletchleys" – commanded respect, and a bit of fear. You couldn't deal with Cipher and not become a monster yourself.

Lucy turned to the Commissioner of Special Branch. "Would there still be any records with police, or the International Police even?"

"It's possible. If they had any ties to other known Rockets, we might have their records on file still in case they contained evidence against others." Jenny took another look at the photos. "I've seen them before, sure of it. I think those are the Rockets that pulled off the Viridian Pokemon Centre raid. One of my sister's nieces, off in the sticks, she said something about them capturing the Squirtle Squad, a local gang. There may be others too."

"That helps, thank you Jennifer," said Professor P, finally speaking up.

"What exactly is all this in aid of?" Lord Jarvis' voice was even but still contained a note of annoyance; 'you waste my time', it said. "A Team Rocket team, even a prolific one, is hardly a JIS Committee matter. You could have just passed your data and concerns to the police."

"Two issues." Lucy raised two fingers to illustrate her point, 'accidentally' in a two-finger salute. "One: they went in the day before _we_ were going to. We don't think that's a coincidence. That implies Team Rocket still have spies, either in the Indigo League, the SOL, the Saffron Police high ranks, or all three. We need to investigate this.

"Two: I say again, these two managed to 'cure' Sabrina. We're still not sure how: Sabrina's still in hospital and her memories are slightly confused, and her father missed most of it. _He_ didn't try to recruit them though. It's _possible_ they did this completely by accident, but it's also _possible_ that the head of Team Aqua is Lugia. It's more likely to be deliberate, and…" She took a deep breath. "Curing Sabrina would mean she was in debt to Team Rocket. Now they wouldn't deliberately cure Sabrina _and_ try to steal Pokemon, but… well, these two left their stolen Pokemon behind when going after Sabrina. That meant they could be thrown out without the Pokemon, and I think they planned that.

"I think they decided on their own to save Sabrina, so she'd be in debt to _them_. They were going to 'fail' in their official mission but have a Gym Leader – and a powerful psychic – as an asset. Sabrina must've rejected their deal and they tried to beat her to death for it. Conveniently, that'd mean they could continue their official mission and there'd be no witness left.

"I think these two are rogues. They may be planning a coup, they may just want to have some dealings on the side, but they're not fully with Team Rocket's boss and that could lead to destabilisation. That will lead to conflict on the streets of every major city in three regions and let's be honest, that's not something we're ready for.

"We need to find these two, we need to find out what they're up to, and if necessary we need to eliminate them."


	9. Pokemon Fashion Cash!

"You're listening to the BBC Kanto Service News at 5. Coming up: as New France faces widespread strikes over its $18 billion austerity cuts, the fate of Economic United States single currency comes into question; the Arab Kingdom announces a launch date for its first Mars mission, following the recent launch of the German _Mors Drei_ shuttle; actor Theorello Cappuccino is the latest star to take part in the Malvinas War film _Lost Glory_.

"First, domestic news: the Maritime Defence Force has downgraded the threat level to yellow, and unrestricted shipping is once again allowed in Kanto waters. While the Tentacruel that destroyed Porta Vista continues to remain at large, the MDF no longer believe it is planning an imminent attack. Thousands of refugees and Apoculo residents have condemned this stance and are calling for retributive action: Audrey Trang, the island's High Commissioner, has said she will continue to push for military action from the Federation of Regions. The reopening of shipping lanes caused the Nysau 53 stock index to rise by 13 points.

"Dario Duo, winner of the last Fuchsia Free-For-All Race, has been arrested on suspicion of match-fixing and conspiracy to injure. The Free-For-All was marked by an abnormally high number of injuries and accidents, causing early suspicion that Dario had cheated. The Laramie Ranch has refused to comment but is known to have revoked his honorary membership.

"The 'War for Scissor Street' rages on, as champion Breeder Suzy brings in Breeders from across the regions for a special expo; this is the latest attempt to see off Salon Roquet..."

* * *

One advantage of being on the outs with the Boss is that you get to do what you want, how you want, and nobody's paying attention. Salon Roquet, a garish little fashion boutique in the heart of Scissor Street, would normally have had someone – probably Meowth – prodding them to turn into a Pokemon rustling scam. With no interference, Jessie and James just indulged their _haute couture_ fantasies to the fullest.

Meowth hadn't paid much attention. Discovering what the Boss really thought of them – of him – had been a blow. He'd spent weeks despondent, irritable, unsure if there was a point to his job. He was starting to scratch upon old wounds, remembering others who'd rejected him, unsure if there was a point to _living_.

Then he'd noticed something surprising. People were _paying money_ for Jessie and James to turn their Pokemon into an abomination. Lots of people really wanted their Squirtle to be given a wig and have roses painted on its shell. Lots of people put down their hard earned cash to see their Eevee be given a Mohican.

Meowth liked money. He especially liked to put in charge of it. (Jessie and James didn't much like his new-found interest in their expenditure) So when Suzy, one of the world's most famous Pokemon Breeders, began to aggressively promote traditional breeding and publicly slagged off Salon Roquet? That meant Meowth and the others had something that needed _defending_.

The media war started when James crossdressed as Suzy in public and began to whine loudly, in a very dopey voice, about how much cooler than Salon was and how it was_ right now having a 15% discount on all Rock and Ground types!_ When Suzy responded with direct interviews in the traditional newspapers, Team Rocket held an obscenely decadent party for their biggest customers and tipped off a prominent tabloid. The outraged "BOYCOTT THIS DEN OF FILTH" story went nationwide, and foot traffic doubled.

Every open session on massages was met with a free samples giveaway. Every tour was met with a bigger, noisier tour. Every TV ad campaign was met with organised flashmobs of made-over Pokemon.

This sort of prolonged conflict was reducing their net profit to almost zero, but the Salon remained open. That made it likely that Team Rocket would start to pay attention – to head this off at the pass, the trio (with help from Wendy) had the Salon classed as a safe house and field base. A barracks, some facilities, and an ops room were set up in the basement, and Salon Roquet was given an official function that precluded being used for Pokemon snatching. (Hey, the Boss wants them to work at _that_, he can stop being such a prick)

Turned out a _lot_ of Rocket field agents wanted to stay at the safe house so they could have their Pokemon made over.

* * *

"Salon Roquet. I don't – that's just too blatant. How do people not twig?"

"Hiding in plain sight?"

"Hiding in sight of dumbasses, at least." Lucy Fleetfoot put the camera down. "Your shift."

"Ma'am."

The JIS Committee had agreed that the Rocket trio needed looking at. It had been quite a surprise when they'd set up such a brazen front operation, but going off the police reports that seemed to fit their character: theatrical and arrogant. They also had the misfortune to open their salon_ just_ across the road from a secret Pokemon G-Men office, one set up to monitor any abuses by Breeders.

This was also both the G-Men's misfortune and Lucy's, as the former had to graciously allow their fellow agents from SOL to make temporary use of their facility and the latter had to graciously be grateful for the charity. (The biscuits had run out two days ago, and both sides were too petty to buy more when _the other guys_ were clearly the porkers)

"You still here?" asked Lucy, shooting a glare at Lance.

"I was going to ask you the same thing." He hadn't left the briefing room in hours, continuing to over the notes and photos from the surveillance. "So, any change?"

"This is SOL business-"

"And our office. We expect some... courtesies."

"I shagged your mum last night for a yen." She began to plug the camera into the room's laptop, preparing to upload the shift's photos. "One Rocket has left, that leaves two more in there – that's on top of our guys. Thirty five over the last week... Thirty five Rockets who are potentially in on Jessie and James' coup plan.

"And don't start with the 'allegedly' – the evidence keeps piling up. Just look at the damn place! It practically screams 'Team Rocket' to anyone who's willing to look, that's a challenge; there's too much foot traffic for a regular safe house, something's bringing them here and it's not going to be the Pokemon makeovers; and the two J's haven't stolen any Pokemon. Not one. That's a big 'up yours' to their Boss."

"We can contact the police and get Jessie and James arrested at any time, you do know that right?"

"Not until we know how far the coup goes, I don't want it surviving beyond them. Besides, 'arrest'? Failed last time, didn't it? No, these two are serious players. That's not a police job. When we're done, we rub them out."

* * *

"I've done it! Jessie, I've figured out how we can do a makeover for Muks:_ sparkly glitter_!"

"Magnifique!"


	10. Conned Spiracy!

10.

"You're listening to the BBC Kanto Service News at 5. Coming up: the Holy Russian Empire and the Republic of China continue the Ulan Bator Talks, following emergency action by Mongolian diplomats; Ireland celebrates the 20th anniversary of the overthrow of self-styled 'Lord High Protector' Ian Paisley, with British and Australian veterans reuniting with the former resistance; a state of emergency is declared in Middle Shabele, Somalia, after a Category Two incursion by the Spirit World.

"First, domestic news: Gym Leader Koga has been transferred from Fuchsia to Dark City as part of the reconstruction work. Dark City had been devastated by conflict between two rival Gyms, both of which have been condemned by the Pokemon Inspection Agency and their leaders jailed. Koga has promised that his new Gym will bring in prosperity for the locals: 'it was Gym Leaders that did this, so a Gym Leader must be the one to make amends.' His sister Janine has replaced him at Fuschia.

"A record number of Pokemon tournaments have been set up for this year's Princess Day festivals…"

* * *

With Koffing and Arbok by her side (Ekans had evolved mid-battle), Jessie had obliterated all the competition and reached the final... and now an eleven-year-old redhead had pounded them. She only had three Pokemon, but there were two left and the Starmie – battered as it was – was clearly a match for Meowth.

Meowth knew it. That's why he was bravely running like hell from it.

"Oh come on Meowth! You can withstand a little Water Gun!"

"Nah! I'm a useless bum! Honest!"

Behind him, the pursuing Starmie peppered the ground with a continuing barrage.

Cornered by the stands, Meowth turned to use Fury Swipes... and was blasted unconscious.

"What now, Jess?" asked James. "All we've got left is..."

"The stomach that walks like a 'mon," said Jessie grimly, looking at the offending Pokeball. The Lickitung had come out of nowhere earlier in the day, devouring her Princess Day shopping. "Maybe it can eat the competition... LICKITUNG, GO!"

Released from containment, Lickitung surveyed the Starmie and... well, licked it. Instantly paralysed, it was no much for the pink juggernaut's Slam attack and fell into an instant KO.

"Salon Roquet's Jessie is back in the game!" bellowed the match announcer. "What can the Mighty Misty do to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat?"

Apparently, it was to send a Psyduck out.

"Psyduck, Psyduck... The one that gets psychic powers with a headache, right?"

"And it tastes nice in black bean sauce."

"Duly noted. Okay, don't want to give it an opening... LICKITUNG! STOMACH WHALLOP!"

One well-placed Slam in the guts dropped Psyduck like a sack of potatoes. Showing no mercy, Jessie had it slammed again and again until it fell unconscious.

She'd wanted those princess dolls for years. The trio never got anything when they held back. She was never showing mercy to an opponent again.

* * *

"Whoa. Dat looks expensive." Meowth gave the doll set a thumbs-up. "Now how do we get 'em back home?"

"We'll find a way." She looked at them, a smile on her lips. "I never had these as a kid, nothing close to them. And now... Now we've driven Suzy out of business, we're successful in legitimate enterprise and have a place in Team Rocket, and I have these. We just keep going up."

"Yeah, erm, didn't we sing dis tune back before the St Anne?"

"We know better now: don't trust the boss, plan your own plan, hit really hard."

"You hit hard before," said James.

"Hit harder...er."

"Sold."

"Let's get back home. You just know some of the rookie agents have been watching the match, my ego could do with some pampering..."

* * *

Ohta House, Saffron City. The Joint Intelligence and Security Committee was back in session.

"I was wrong," said Lucy Fleetfoot, glaring at Lance as if to dare him to talk. "Over two months with those two and... well, I can't believe this, but they really are up to nothing. I've got all this evidence that shows hundreds of Rockets idolise them, would rise up if they did launch a coup – and they're doing nothing. I don't think they realise."

"SOL called this meeting just to tell us it was all a waste of time?"

"There's another way of looking at it. They _could_ destabilise Team Rocket. We're not ready _yet_ for a destabilisation. But if we were... well, why wait for one to happen naturally?"

There was silence.

Lord Imawano looked to each of the directors and agents, looking for signs of unwillingness and panic. There were none.

"I take it we all like the sound of that?" he asked.

There was murmured agreement.

"I'll report this to the Cabinet and see if we can get approval. This will be a multi-agency job, is everyone willing to-"

"To collapse Team Rocket?" Lord Jarvis grinned. "Sir, I'd work with the Holy Russian Empire for that. I'd work with Satan. I'd work with _reality TV stars_."

"Duly noted. I trust I don't need to remind everyone of the need for utmost security?"

* * *

Giovanni read the report again, his face unreadable but his hands gripping his seat like he wanted to throttle it.

Throttle _someone_, anyway.

"You are absolutely sure of this."

General Tyson nodded. "Domino is our best covert operative, sir. Everything she's leaked from SOL has been reliable. A JIS Committee was called today: she doesn't know what about, but we can probably guess..."

"Jessie, James and Meowth. They had been acting... _rebellious_ lately. And their reputation in the ranks..." He drew his breath in sharply. "If the JIS is meeting now, the coup must be in the advanced stages. We eliminate them now. Fake a mission for them, get Butch and Cassidy on it with them and provide them with whatever back-up they require. We nip this in the bud _now_."


End file.
